im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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