The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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