I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize