"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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