somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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