My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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