Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize