NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
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