do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Someone signed my nipple.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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