i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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