Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize