u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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