there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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