We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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