How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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