we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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