Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We need a shit load of segways right now
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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