It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize