Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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