you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
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dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
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Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize