the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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