So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize