ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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