there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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