i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize