I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize