Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize