Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
