you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
