it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
