My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
