i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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