New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize