No stitches, just platelets and will power
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize