Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize