You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize