I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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