I must be too annoying 4 u.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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