feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
