it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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