Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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