her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize