he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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