Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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