We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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