I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
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We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
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They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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