I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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