you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
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The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
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I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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