You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize