it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize