I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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