NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize