so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize